It hasn't been a good few months for me. There have been highs, certainly, through achievements and positive experiences, and nothing terrible has happened. But on the whole it feels as though my life is not moving quite as fast as it should be. I feel terribly demoralised about my prospects of going to university, particularly on the funding front.
Various external issues at work have hindered my development there and everything just feels too difficult these days. I feel as though I am constantly starting again and really need to take a leap forward. And yet, lack of progress is not for want of trying.. the constant starting again is my way of trying. And it's hard too; shooting in the dark and not knowing whether it will lead anywhere but the same start sign. Not knowing whether I am doing something fundamentally wrong or just refining my act. Keeping up the belief that makes me keep trying. That's the real problem these days; the belief is slipping away.
I guess I've just lost a bit of my spark. I hope I find it soon.
