I'm busier now than I was when I had a job, and honestly too zapped and overloaded with unstructured thoughts & feelings to write anything of substance here, but I thought it was time for an update.I am on the waiting list for Columbia. It was nice not to be rejected, and I know there is still hope of going, but I am more dejected than I let on about the fact that this means I won't receive any Columbia funding even if I am later offered a place. I am especially dejected because everything I've learnt in the last few months has confirmed my interest in this area and given me material and experiences that would have made for a stronger application. Although I am incredibly grateful for my recent opportunities, I feel a little cheated on this one in terms of timing.
Life since the trip has been surreal and rewarding. I'm still unemployed and it has taken longer than I expected or planned to find a job, but I don't feel as bad about this as most people around me do. It's hard to when I am always doing really great things like making a video of our experience, giving a speech in parliament, attending amazing talks/events/exhibitions/documentary viewings/etc and having discussions with all kinds of interesting groups and inspiring people.
In many ways I feel I am developing the skills I wanted to develop, learning the things I wanted to learn, and working in the field in which I wanted to work. I'm just not being paid for any of it. I know I can't continue like this indefinitely, but for now I'm really happy to soak up this experience and throw myself into it, even if the more sensible thing to do is to step back from it and hammer harder at the banking job search. Not everyone in my life understands that, but some people do (my actor friends who know the value of working for free to develop their skills and build a portfolio deserve a special mention here) and they are really helpful in making me realise that I'm not completely crazy to just go where the wind or my instincts take me.
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