So I have identified a few of the things that have been bothering me and I'm writing them up to make sure I work on them:
1. I still don't have a job
I've been looking for some contracting work in banking to pay the bills whilst I work towards my other goals. I'm fortunate to have been working in Risk for the last few years - maybe the only area in which banks are stepping up recruitment in this financial crisis. So I'm very marketable, and knowing that definitely gave me some expectations about how quickly I could find a job (plus I am always scarily confident about these things), but it's moving really slowly. I've had one interview in two weeks, and I'm still waiting to secure an appointment for the second round.
In the last couple of days I've been worrying about money - being able to afford my impending holiday and my other obligations. At one point I even reprimanded myself for buying an avocado @ £1.19 (as if that's the worst of my financial sins)!
Well I had some good news today in that my recruitment agency is really hammering for a second interview this week and chasing on some other jobs. I also signed up to cityjobs.com and applied for a few more roles, signed up for job alerts via email, and booked an appointment with an accountancy firm for tomorrow re: setting up my own company. I'm feeling a LOT better.
2. I miss running
I can hardly believe the words I'm writing, or that running should have such an impact on my mood. Last year I couldn't run for more than a minute. I've since run a 10K race and a half marathon, and have recently signed up to run the London marathon next year. I'm dying to start training obviously, but have been signed off for six weeks by my doc. So for two days in a row now I've put off going to the gym, because I don't find the cross-trainer nearly as enjoyable or challenging as running. I miss the fresh air effect, and I really miss the feeling of achieving new goals every week (a longer distance, a better pace, a faster time) and the incredible impact that has on the rest of my life.
But I can have all that back, if I take good care of myself in these recovery weeks. So tomorrow I am getting on that cross-trainer, and I am going to remember that in using it I am still working towards that finish line on The Mall. And tonight as soon as I finish this I'm going to do a good round of my physio exercises and schedule them into every day in my calendar. No more excuses. I can use this six weeks well, doing the exercise I can to build up my endurance, or badly, feeling sorry for myself. I am going to use them well. It'll help with everything else too.
3. I miss human interaction
Not surprising really. Going from days full of office banter to days on end without any person to person interaction. It's easily solved too. I have time and a travelcard and plenty of friends I can meet for lunch! Also restarted Spanish conversation swaps - because it's one of those things I always wish I had time for when I'm working.
So all in all feeling much more positive now and expecting/intending to have a better few days. I'm finding that a lot about making this all work lies in being honest with myself. It's hard to do sometimes but worth it when I get issues resolved.
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