Friday 5 March 2010

Struggling to Work

Quiet times in my blogging are usually indicative of developments with work. I am significantly busier - my inbox is more active, I have increased deadline pressure, there've been leavers, new joiners, new relationships forming in the office that are eating my time, and a potential (& tempting) job offer from my last company.

Lots to think about. I wish I had more time to write about it - would probably help.

In the meantime, one thing to note is that I respond to work stress in an entirely different way now that I'm contracting, and not wholly committed to the job/industry. There is a sort of overarching calm that comes from the detachment. I took the above picture in India; it's the view from the back of the Taj Mahal...a brief connection to the serenity outside felt from within touristy craziness. And that's how I feel today - overwhelmed with work but with these little glimpses of the world outside of this office & this job, because this isn't really my life anymore, or even a huge part of it, and I won't measure myself by my performance here.

It is, however, my chosen means to my chosen end, so my performance does count for something and I could do without my priorities being quite so warped (e.g. why am I blogging at 11:50 when I have a major 3pm deadline, feeling, somehow, that work is getting in the way of my life).

I need a lot more discipline if I'm going to survive here.

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